Looking for some funny Instagram captions to use? You have come to the perfect place. We list a huge selection of the funniest captions for Instagram and photos to use.
You can use all captions for free. Simply copy-and-paste the cool quote you like most, and go for it! Enjoy!
Here is more sayings:
- positive quotes to empower
- sassy Instagram captions
- funny quotes about friends
- hilarious funny quotes about love
- Epic Instagram Bio Quotes
Funny Captions for Instagram
Ready to explore? We organized all the greatest captions for your Instagram shots. All you need to do? Choose your topic and your favorite quote β and copy and paste it under your Insta-photo update! Here are the funny Instagram captions for you.
Couple
Looking for funny Instagram captions for that perfect photo moment with your beau? Itβs always a fun moment when you spend it with your other half but there are times that are just over-the-top funny and we have photos to prove it. Upload it to your social media and share to your friends your loveβs funny moment. No harm in sharing a good laugh!
- Do you know whatβd look good on you? Me .
- You marry so that you can know each other and the process lasts for infinity.
- With great girlfriend comes great expenses.
- Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, sheβs not coming back.
- Make love, not war. Hell, do both. Get married..
- My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
- Newtonβs law of love: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed. Only it can transfer from one girlfriend to another with some loss of money.
- I donβt want to be in a relationship, also I would rather be in a Range Rover.
- One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.
- Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, youβre in.
- I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soulmate β¦ but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza.
- I m a math teacher. One plus two equals me and you
- Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
- βI miss you like an idiot misses the point.β
- If you canβt remember my name, just say βchocolateβ β¦ Iβll turn around.
- Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
- A friend in need a friend to be avoided.
- Brains are an awesome tool. I wish everybody had one.
- Got a new phone today, my old phone failed the swimming test.
- Can Bob the Builder fix my bad attitude?
- Can I take your picture? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.
- Cousins are created so that our Parents can compare marks.
- I hate math, but I love counting money.
- Dear Lord. Please give me some patience now, now, now.
- Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, sheβs not coming back.
- Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you canβt beat surfing the net.
- Do I run? Yes, Out of time, patients and money.
- Do you know whatβd look good on you? Me.
Cute
We canβt help it, sometimes we just want to add spice in our lives and upload cute photos in our Instagram feed. But photos arenβt everything, it needs an equally cute caption to work its magic. Read through some of the funny Instagram captions that you can use for your photos.
- Why is it that we tend to take relationships for granted? We unconsciously think it can take care of itself. But love neglected is the start of indifference.
- There is no such thing as a perfect person, but someoneβs heart can have the perfect intention.
- You donβt have to jump high for people to like you, love you, want to be with you, and notice you. You just have to be yourself, and you will be accepted for who you are.
- Stop being a zombie. Find something that youβre excited about in your life; otherwise, youβre just walking dead.
- I put my best foot forward, then my worst foot after that, then my best foot again.
- Insecurities can make even the smartest and most beautiful person foolishly question themselves despite how amazing they truly are.
- Mental stimulation and an emotional connection between two people trump a physical and love connection any day. However, having all of the above is even more powerful and meaningful;
- Consider yourself blessed.
- Even the most beautiful people will have at least some insecurity, whether they admit it or not.
- People wonβt always love you. They may love what you bring to the table and love what you may do for them, but that doesnβt mean they love you. Learn the difference, my friends.
- Before spending time trying to find someone, you must first find yourself.
- Make sure to savor all your special moments, step outside of yourself, and bask in your own presence, while itβs still present.
- You and I are cupcakes of an everlasting honeymoon party.
Food
While love life is life, food is lifer and we mean that in the most literal sense. Eat, pray, love. Uh, no. Photo first, caption second, eat later. Stop scrolling and searching in Google. We have the funny Instagram captions on food right here!
- If weβre not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?
- I eat cake because itβs somebodyβs birthday somewhere.
- Bikini season is right around the corner. Unfortunately, so is the pizza place.
Friends
Admit it, you love your friends and you go crazy when youβre with them. That means a lot of awesome and fun times worth capturing. Donβt post something crappy, pick a photo that best describes your friendship, and pick the perfect Funny Instagram captions to go with your funny moments.
- Letβs just stay friends=never talk again.
- I know you are a sensitive person but no worry I am Sensodyne to your sensitivity.
- People are people but my fellows are really fellows.
- You laugh. I laugh. You cry. I cry. You jump off a really tall cliff. I yell, βDo a flip!β
- I hope you dance like no oneβs watching because theyβre notβtheyβre taking selfies.
- People are like Oreos. The good stuff is on the inside.
- Friends buy you lunch. Best friends eat your lunch.
- I hope we are good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.
- Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean⦠But the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face.
- I donβt know whatβs tighter, our jeans or our friendship.
- Weβll be the old ladies causing trouble in the nursing home.
- Every tall girl needs a short best friend.
- As soon as I saw you, I knew an adventure is going to happen.
- Friends knock on the door, best friends walk into your house and start eating.
- A friend in need a friend to be avoided.
- I hope we are good friends until we die, then i hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.
- Cousins are created so that our Parents can compare marks.
- When you fall I will be ready to catch you- with love, floor.
- Can I take your picture? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.
- Please GOD if you canβt make me slim, make my friends fat.
- Boys will be boys as long as there are no girls in the picture.
- You actually have friends? Ans: Yeah, bro, all 10 seasons on DVD.
- The best way to look younger, hang out with older people.
- Iβm usually charming, nice, and well mannered, OK for those who really know me you can laugh now
- Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
- You know youβre ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
- God is really creative, I mean just look at me and think.
- How do people write an autobiography? I can barely remember what I had for lunch yesterday.
- I am not fat, I am just. Easier to see.
- I donβt want to be in a relationship, I would rather be in a Range Rover.
- I am not feeling lazy actually; I am just incredibly motivated to do nothing.
- I donβt always surf the internet, but when I do, eyebrows!
- I am not lazy, I am just on my energy saving mode.
- Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, youβre in.
- I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
- I didnβt choose the thug life, the thug life chose me
- I donβt always study, but when I do, I donβt.
- Best friends: Ready to die for each other, but will fight to the death over the last slice of pizza.
- I donβt know whatβs tighter, our jeans or our friendship.
- Finding friends with same mental disorder is priceless.
- I donβt think inside the box and I donβt think outside the box. I donβt even know where the box is.
- I followed a diet but it didnβt follow me back, so I unflawed it.
- I had fun once, it was horrible.
- Not all the best moments are created with the one you love, some are created with true friends, a blissful beach, and some beer for sure!
- I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
- I hope you dance like no oneβs watching because theyβre not β theyβre taking selfies.
- If being Hot is a Crime ARREST ME!
- If I ever let my head down, it will be just to admire my shoes.
- If I was funny, I would have a good Instagram caption.
- If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.
- Letβs just stay friends=never talk again.
- If there would be an award for being lazy, I would send someone to pick it up for me.
- Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie, just one more minute. Yet. I wouldnβt call them lies!
- If you are going to speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. Iβll tell you more.
- Roses are red, violets are blue, Oh my friend you belong to a zoo.
- If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be. If it does not, hunt it down & kill it.
- Itβs funny how people judge otherβs mistakes while they also do the same thing.
- Just saw the smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.
From Movies
Referencing funny lines from the movies never grow old. Letβs take some of them and make it our funny Instagram captions for our photos.
- Go ahead, make my day.
- Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape.
- Fasten your seatbelts, itβs going to be a bumpy night!
- You talkinβ to me?
- Show me the money!
- Houston, we have a problem.
- I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.
- Round up the usual suspects.
- Iβm as mad as hell, and Iβm not going to take this anymore!
- Houston, we have a problem.
- Iβll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!
- You had me at βhelloβ.
- Thereβs no crying in baseball!
- You canβt handle the truth!
- Tell βem to go out there with all they got and win just one for the Gipper.
- Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!
- Iβm the king of the world!
- Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what youβre gonna get.
- Toto, Iβve got a feeling weβre not in Kansas anymore.
- Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
- What weβve got here is failure to communicate.
Here are some of the most generic captions for every occasions.
- I put my phone in airplane mode, but itβs not flying!
- Forget love, Iβd rather fall in chocolate.
- Brains are awesome. I wish everybody had one.
- An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if doctor is cute, forget the fruit.
- Iβm actually not funny, I am just mean and people think Iβm funny!
- Iβm a smart person, I just do stupid things.
- Dear Lord, there is a bug in your softwareβ¦ itβs called Monday, please fix it.
- Dear Lordβ¦ please give me some patience NOWβ¦NOWβ¦NOWβ¦.
- I look at people sometimes and think β¦.. Really?? Thatβs the sperm that won.
- How do people write an autobiography? I can barely remember what I had for lunch yesterday.
- The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.
- Friday is my second favorite F word.
- Itβs funny how people judge otherβs mistakes while they also do the same thing.
- If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be. If it does not, hunt it down & kill it.
- BRB = I donβt want to talk to you. LOL = I have nothing else to say. Cool = I donβt care.
- I am not feeling lazy actually. Actually, I am just incredibly motivated to do nothing.
- Can I take your picture?? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.
- You made me laugh so hard. Tears ran down my legs.
- I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.
- Donβt give up on your dreams. keep sleeping.
- How do you call a pig that does karate? Pork Chop
- I am not lazy, I am just on save energy mode.
- Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.
- Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.
- Normal is boring
- What do you call a bear with no ears? EARS!
- Best friends. Because anyone else heard our conversations weβd end up in the mental hospital.
- What does Charles Dickens keep in this spice rack? The best of Thymes, and the worst of Thymes.
- After Tuesdays, even the calendar goes WTF.
- The fridge is a clear example that what matters is on the inside.
- Nothing is lost until your mother canβt find it.
- If there would be an award for being lazy, I would send someone to pick it up for me.
- For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.
- Last name Ever, first name Greatest.
- I was going to make myself a belt made out of watches, but then I realized it would be a waste of time.
- Nobody is perfect. My name is Perfect!
- What do you call a thieving alligator? A Crocodile
- Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them.
- βFolks, I donβt trust children. Theyβre here to replace us.β β Stephen Colbert
- The more you weight the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe eat cake.
- Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, youβre probably drunk.
- That awkward moment when youβre wearing Nikeβs and you canβt do it.
- Life was much easier when apple and blackberry were just fruits.
- I made a huge list for today. I just canβt figure out whoβs going to do it.
- Please God, if you canβt make me thin, make my friends fat.
- I walk around like everything is fine. But deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
- Life doesnβt have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.
- An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough.
- Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put my keys in the fridge.
- During the day I didnβt believe in ghosts. At night I become a bit more open-minded.
- At night I fall asleep. In the morning I canβt get up.
- Sometimes I wish I was a bird. So I could fly over certain people and shit on their heads.
- This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.
- Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life.
- Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, theyβll start using it.
- Life is very complicated. Donβt try to find answers because when you find the answers, life changes the questions.
- Donβt let anyone rent a space in your head unless theyβre a good tenant.
- The best things in life are free. The second best are very expensive. β Coco Chanel
- The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.
- I hate when people see me at the supermarket and they are all like βHey, what are you doing here?β And Iβm just like, βOh, you know hunting elephants.β
- When my bra matches my underwear, I really feel like I have my life together.
- Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and they live for 150 years. Lesson learned.
- Did you know that DIET stands for: Did I Eat That?
- I hate it when Iβm singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.
- Well, well, well. Look what finally decided to show up. Hello Friday!
- I may look calm, but in my mind, I have killed you three times.
- Seeing a spider in my room isnβt scary. Itβs scary when it disappears.
- That awkward moment when you see twins fighting and one of them calls the other ugly.
- Fun quote for Instagram
- Donβt worry, Beyonce.
- There is no angry way to say bubbles.
- Donβt interrupt someone working intently on a puzzle. Chances are, youβll hear some crosswords.
- I am a ninja. No, you are not. Did you see me do that? Do what? Exactly
- How do I feel when there is no Coffee? DEPRESSO.
- Life happens. Coffee helps.
- Be a Warrior, not a Worrier.
- Iβm a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite remarkable.
- If you fall, I will be there. Signed: Floor.
- All we have is NOW.
- When you are Downie, eat a brownie.
- You are one in a melon.
- I tried to embrace my inner child today and the little asshole bit me.
- Run like you stole something.
- I hate it when I gain10 lbs for a role and then I realize I am not even an actor.
- Dear life, when I said, βCan my day get any worse?β it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
- My life is a constant battle between my love for food and not wanting to get fat.
- There are two rules in life. 1. Never give out all the information. 2. β
- Stop worrying about the world ending today. Itβs already tomorrow in Australia.
- On Mercury, a day lasts 1,408 hours. Just like Monday does on Earth.
- Life is like a toilet paper. Either youβre on a roll or youβre taking shit from asshole.
- You canβt make everybody happy. You are not a jar of Nutella.
- I think my soul mate might be carbs.
- What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing βkβ instead of βokβ?
- Donβt know where the kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and theyβll show up quickly.
- Funny how just when you think life canβt get any worse, it suddenly does.
- Donβt worry about getting older. You still get to do stupid things, only slower.
- You never know what you have until you clean your room.
- When nothing goes right, go left
- Me: Finally, Iβm happy. LIfe: Lol, wait a sec.
- Of curse, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
- When your ex texts you after months, βHey, whatβs up?β. Not today Satan, not today.
- All my life I thought the air was free. Until I bought a bag of chips.
- tried being normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.
- I donβt think inside the box. I donβt think outside the box either. I donβt even know where the box is
- The word βstudyingβ was made up of two words originally βstudents dyingβ.
- This life is hard, but itβs harder if youβre stupid.
- Are you really living a life or just paying the bills until you die?
- I stopped fighting my inner demons. Weβre on the same side now.
- Donβt study me, you wonβt graduate.
- Iβm at the point of parenting where βWhat did I just say?β could either be a threat or a genuine question.
- Sometimes I have to tell myself itβs not worth the jail time.
- That annoying moment when you finally get comfortable in bed, but then BAM, you have to pee.
- Some people are like clouds. Hwne they disappear, itβs a beautiful day.
- If youβre waiting for me to give a shit, you better pack a lunch. Itβs going to be a while.
- My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot todo.
- There should be a holiday dedicated to all the brave people who show up to work n Mondays.
- Fun friend quote for Instagram
- I just got that Friday feeling.
- When I feel a little down, I put on my favorite high heels and dance.
- I need a six-month holiday, twice a year.
- Bad choices make good stories.
- If there would be an award for laziness, I would send someone to pick it up for me!
- There is beauty in simplicity.
- If Cinderellaβs shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off in the first place?
- I used to think I am indecisive. But now I am not sure!
- The more you weight, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, eat cake!
- A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids mistakes.
- I donβt want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband!
- How do I feel without coffee? Depresso!
- I would kill for a Nobel Peace Price!
- Sometimes I pretend to be normal. But that gets boring really fast. So I go back to being normal!
- I donβt need a hairstylist. My pillow gives me a new style of hair every morning!
- Brains are awesome. I wish everybody would have one!
- I am actually quite a nice person. Until you piss me off!
- There is no angry way to say βBubbles!
- I eat cake because it is somebodyβs birthday somewhere!
- Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it!
- I canβt clean my room because I get distracted by the cool stuff I find!
- You could not handle me. Even if I would come with instructions!
- I am standing outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding!
- With great power comes great electricity bills!
- My teacher pointed to me with his ruler and said: βAt the end of this ruler there is an idiot!ββ¦βI got detention after asking which end!
- People say nothing is impossible. But I do nothing every day!
- Wine is always the answer. What was the question again?
- What do you call an owl that does magic tricks? Hoodini
- In bed, itβs 6 AM. You close your eyes for 5 minutes, itβs 7:45. At work, itβs 1:30 PM. You close your eyes for 5 minutes, itβs 1:31.
- I think somethingβs missing in my life. Like 2-3 million dollars.
- Can we just skip to the part of my life where I travel the world?
- Itβs bad manners to keep a vacation waiting.
- I wish travel therapy was covered by my health insurance.
- There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation.
- You canβt buy a business but you can buy a plane ticket and thatβs kind of the same thing.
- Overpack. Itβs why suitcases have wheels now.
- Age only matters if youβre a cheese.
- I like rumors. I find out so much about me that I didnβt even know.
- Iβm old enough to know better. But young enough to do it anyway.
- That awkward moment when youβre wearing Nikeβs and you canβt do it.
- Just dropped my new single! Itβs me. Iβm single.
- Be savage, not average.
- I was addicted to the hokey pokey but I turned myself around.
- I know Iβm a handful but thatβs why you got two hands.
- Every 60 seconds, thereβs a b-tch posting a positive message that she doesnβt live by.
- Never let anyone treat you like a yellow Starbust. You are a pink starburst.
- The most important thing is to enjoy your life β to be happy β thatβs all that matters.
- Take every chance you get in life, because some things only happen once.
- I myself never feel that Iβm sexy. If people call me cute, I am happier.
- Women drivers rev my engine.
- I like foodies.
- At least this balloon is attracted to me!
- I must destroy you with hugs and kisses.
- Stop looking for happiness in the same place you just lost it.
- I woke up like this.
- If we could only turn back timeβ¦
- Keep smiling because life is a beautiful thing and thereβs so much to smile about.
- Beauty is power, a smile is its sword.
- This picture is my autobiography.
- Last day of class!
- Donβt take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive.
- Chilling like a gangsterβ¦
- It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness.
- Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.
- I love those who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. βTis the business of little minds to shrink, but they whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves their conduct, will pursue their principles unto death.
- It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.
- Love can be unselfish, in the sense of being benevolent and generous, without being selfless.
- When I feel a little down, I put on my favorite high heels and dance.
- You think this is a game?
- Weekend, please donβt leave me.
- Donβt let anyone tell you that youβre not strong enough.
- Be who and what you want, period.
- Stay strong, the weekend is coming!
- You play Call of Duty? Thatβs cute.
- Youβre doing it wrong.
- Donβt be like the rest of them, darling.
- I wasnβt lucky, I deserved it.
- Whatever you do in life, make sure it makes you happy.
- The question isnβt can you, itβs will you?
- What do you think of the view?
- I liked memes before they were on Instagram.
- That moment when you realize your childhood is over.
- Friday, my second favorite F word.
- Iβll never try to fit in. I was born to STAND OUT!
- I think youβve got a deficiency of Vitamin Me!
- When Instagram was down, I ran around town shouting βlikeβ at flowers, dogs, and expensive brunches.
- Say βBeer Canβ with a British accent. I just taught you to say βBaconβ with a Jamaican accent.
- I donβt always study, but when I do, I donβt.
- So youβre telling me I have a chanceβ¦
- Walking past a class with your friends in it.
- Iβm not saying it was aliens, but it was aliens!
- Yea, dating is cool but have you ever had stuffed crust pizza?
- Give me the chocolate and nobody gets hurtβ¦
- So, youβre on Instagram? You must be an amazing photographer.
- Onions make me sad. A lot of people donβt realize that.
- Oh youβre a model? Whatβs your agency, Instagram?
- If a dentist makes their money from unhealthy teeth, why would I trust a product 4/5 of them recommend?
- I didnβt choose the thug life, the thug life chose me.
- Weekend, please donβt leave me!
- Need an ark? I Noah guyβ¦
- What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram.
- I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
- If I was funny, I would have a good Instagram caption.
- I donβt always surf the internet, but when I do, eyebrows!
- A blind man walks into a barβ¦ And a chairβ¦ and a tableβ¦
- I had fun once, it was horrible!
- Youβd have a big ego too, if you were as great as I am.
- Cheeseburger and Fries: We donβt go out on dates.
- (Swimsuit photo)
- I donβt know how their arteries arenβt clogged with metal, because both of these girls have HEARTS OF GOLD.
- Can I get an βAMENβ?
- Itβs not about who would let me, itβs about who will stop me?
- Great friends happen because youβre a great friend too.
- Donβt let anyone tell you that you wear too much black.
- The only thing I throwback on a Thursday is a scotch.
- Itβs been one blur of fun.
- Itβs Coffee OβClock!
- And so the adventure beginsβ¦
- Treat yourself as a Queen, and youβll attract a King.
- Every beauty needs her beast.
- Last name Ever, first name Greatest.
- Feeling good, living better.
- Last night was a blur.
- Show anyone and Iβll kill you.
- Putting the βweβ in weird.
- Good girl, bad habits.
- 75% of my humor starts with a bad photograph.
- Good shoes take you good places.
- I need a six-month holiday, twice a year.
- You laugh. I laugh. You cry. I cry. You jump off a really tall cliff. I yell, βDo a flip!β
- Daydream believerβ¦
- Well played.
- Say βYesβ to new adventures.
- My diet plan: make all of my best friends cookies; the fatter they get, the thinner I look.
- Bad choices make good stories.
- Even I donβt believe myself when I say Iβll be ready in five minutes.
- Fri-nally! (on Friday).
- Kinda classy, kinda hood.
- A human being without a friend is like a tree in a desert.
- Your loss, babe.
- It may hurt you to look back in past or scare you to think what the future has in store for you, but those things might not happen if you have a best friend in the present with you.
- Letβs just be who we really are.
- Life is short to wear cute shoes.
- When you donβt believe in yourself, your best friend believes in you.
- Do what makes your soul shine.
- Depending on the story behind the photo.
- Life is way to short for bad vibes.
- Sometimes you just donβt need a doctor, sometimes your best friend is the therapy.
- When nature is your home, you donβt visit it.
- Little by little.
- Long caption from my close friends and short of others
- If you listen carefully then the earth has a lot of music for you in store.
- You can only find yourself once you get lost in nature.
- To love and to be loved by the same person is the best feeling in the world.
- You make my heart smile.
- A true friend sees the first tear, catches the second, and stops the third.
- When your happiness is less important than the other personβs happiness, my friend you are in love.
- Namastay in bed.
- Life is like a mirror, we get the best results when we smile.
- Keep a smile on your face and let your personality be your autograph.
- Life is better when youβre smiling.
- I hope you always find a reason to smile.
- Smile. Why? Because you can.
- Who says I never smile in my selfie?
- Keep a smile on your face and let your personality be your autograph.
- Stay strong, make them wonder how youβre still smiling.
- By the way, Iβm wearing the smile you gave me.
- If you smile when no one is around, you really mean it.
- A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
- Keep the Smile On!
- When you have to work, work with a smile.
- Smile, it confuses people.
- Keep smiling and brighten someoneβs day.
- Be someone elseβs sunshine. Be the reason someone smiles today.
- When you canβt find the sunshine, be the sunshine.
- The happiest people donβt have the best of everything, they make the best of everything.
- Be happy. It drives people crazy.
- Say yes to new adventures.
- Every day may not be good but thereβs good in every day.
- Dream big, little one!
- Cute as a button, but not quite as smart.
- 7 billion smiles, and yours is my favorite.
- You do the most adorable things without realizing.
- Donβt grow upβ¦ Itβs a trap!
- Handle every situation like a dog. If you canβt eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.
- Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet. No one really knows how.
- Iβm not lazy. Iβm on energy-saving mode.
- I was going to take over the world this morning but I overslept. Postponed. Again.
- I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times, you know, just to be sure.
- Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness.
- The idea is to die young . . . as late as possible.
- Do more things that make you forget to check your phone.
- You are what you do, not what you say youβll do.
- I literally have to remind myself all the time that being afraid of things going wrong isnβt the way to make things go right.
- You and I are more than friends. Weβre like a really small gang.
- Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.
- F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Fight for you. Respect you. Include you. Encourage you. Need you. Deserve you. Stand by you.
- Some people arrive and make such a beautiful impact on your life, you can barely remember what life was like without them.
- Friendship isnβt a big thing. Itβs a million little things.
- Iβll stop wearing black when they make a darker color. β Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) by Fall Out Boy
- This may be the night that my dreams might let me knowβ¦ All the stars are closer. β All the Stars by Kendrick Lamar & SZA
- Feeling like a boss, and staring at the stars, it doesnβt matter the cost, βcause everybody wants to be famous. β Everybody Wants to Be Famous by Superorganism
- Shine on, diamond, donβt make me wait another day. β My My My! by Troye Sivan
- No point in holding onto whatβs broken, so letβs live in the moment. When one door closes, another one opens. Stop trying to control it and start living in the moment. β Live in the Moment by Craig David
- Birthdays are natureβs way of telling us to eat cake.
- Birthday: A day to celebrate that you havenβt died in the last year.
- I donβt look a day over fabulous!
- The older you get, the better you get. Unless youβre a banana.
- Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
- Aspire to inspire before you expire.
- Darling, you are a work of art.
- Choose kindness and laugh often.
- Clear your mind of canβt.
- Every moment matters.
- Iβm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
- Cupcakes are muffins that believe in miracles.
- Did you say exercise? Or extra fries?
- Iβm just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut.
- My head says gym but my heart says tacos.
- Forget the butterflies, I feel the whole zoo when Iβm with you.
- Fall in love with somebody who will never let you go to sleep wondering if you still matter.
- Sheβs the exclamation mark in the happiest sentence that I could ever possibly write.
- Sometimes, someone comes into your life so unexpectedly, takes your heart by surprise, and changes your life forever.
- I love that you are my person and I am yours, that whatever door we come to, we will open it together. β A.R. Asher
- My prince is not coming on a white horseβ¦ heβs obviously riding a turtle somewhere, really confused.
- I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open, looking for answers. Also food.
- How I feel when there is no coffee? Depresso.
- Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, βWhat! You Too? I thought I was the only one.
- Procrastination is my best friend.
- My professor is like Oprah Winfrey, she throws homeworks at us like itβs a car.
- College lectures would be so much fun with Game of Thrones references.
- Iβd rather be at Hogwarts.
- I want somebody to look at me the way my dog looks at food.
- My dog is mad at me because they could smell another dog on my clothes.
- Did you say pancakes?!My bed is a magical place. As soon as I jump into it, it reminds me of all the things I havenβt yet completed.
- They say donβt try this at home. So, I tried it at my friendβs home.
- Friday β My second favorite F word.
- For me being in math class is like watching a foreign language movie without any subtitles.
- When nothing goes right, just go left.
- This week I was pulled over by a cop. He said, βPapers.β I said, βScissors and I win.β Donβt think the cop found it funny.
- Is Google a boy or a girl? Obviously a girl because it wonβt let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas.
- My mom β Why is everything in your room on the floor? Me β βMom, donβt you understand concept of gravity?
- I donβt think inside the box. I donβt think outside the box. What the duck β I donβt even know what box everyone is talking about.
- Just one more cookie. Just one more minute. Just one more episode β Lies I tell myself.
- I got back with my Ex⦠X box 360.
- What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram.
- So youβre telling me I have a chance.
- Yesterday, I changed my WiFi password to βHackitifyoucanβ; today, someone changed it to βChallengeAcceptedβ.
- Hey girl, feel my sweater. Know what itβs made of? Boyfriend material.
- For every action, I have a clever reserve caption.
- Friendship isnβt about who youβve known the longest. Itβs about who walked into your life and said, I am here for you and proved it.
- Throughout, your life can find a person who never gets bore with your talks.
- Friendship isnβt a big thing β itβs a million little things
- Friendship isnβt about who you know the longest. Itβs about who walked into your life and said Iβm here for you.
- There comes a time when you have to stop crossing oceans for people who wouldnβt jump puddles for you.
- Way to have a best friend is to be one.
- Thereβs something about childhood friends that you just canβt replace
- Friends are medicine for a wounded heart.
- A big hug from a Small person!
- People say it is hard to find friends, just because best one is with me.
- No man is a failure who has friends
- I was thinking of you and feeling fortunate that life brought us together and made βBEST FRIENDSβ.
- Your vibe attracts your tribe.
- It is Priceless to find friends with same mental disorder.
- Strangers think Iβm quiet, my friends think Iβm outgoing, but my best friends know that Iβm completely insane.
- Itβs not how many friends you can count, itβs how many of those you can count on
- The great thing about new friends is that they bring new energy to your soul.#
- Hope to be your friend until we die, become best ghosts after death.
- Best friend? Nah. Sheβs my sister.
- Friends are like flowers, they add color to your life..!!
- βHow much do I weigh? One hundred and sexy!β
- βShameless self-promotion is an underappreciated art form. Letβs fix that.β
- βBrought to you by Spanx and self-confidence.β
- βIβve got it, Iβm flaunting it, and youβre liking it.β
- βIβm sexy and I know it. And now you do too.β
- βPosting this to make everyone else feel better about themselves. Youβre welcome.β
- βShowing myself at my worst so the next selfie I post, youβll all be astounded by my stunning transformation.β
- βIβm probably going to regret this (in 3β¦2β¦1β¦).β
- βMy dog dared me.β
- βThe cat made me do it.β
- βWoke up like this. (Because I fell asleep in this outfit and makeup.)β
- βSome people grow up, I glow up.β
- βOh no, my toddler got my phone, took this perfectly posed (but candid!) picture of me and accidentally posted this, Iβm so embarrassed! But really the kidβs kind of a genius, right?β
- βThis girl is on fire! (Seriously, my quads are burning)β
- βWelcome to the gun show! (So what if mine are of the βconceal and carryβ type?)β
- βMeet you at the bar(bell)?β
- βI go to the gym because clearly my amazing personality deserves a body to go with it.β
- βI donβt sweat, I sparkle.β
- βI just finished squatsβand didnβt toot once!β
- βMy lifeβs purpose is to be a cautionary tale for others.β
- βSend in the rescue dogs (preferably the ones with kegs around their necks).β
- βWhy did no one warn me [eating ice cream/walking the dog/taking a picture with a baby] was so dangerous?β
- βIt seemed like a good idea at the time. I have terrible judgment.β
- βDeploy the secret cuteness weaponβkids!β
- βI totally knew that creepy guy was behind me. Sure I did.β
- βHe said he was Lady Gaga.β
- βIβd hate to get to the end of my life and think βI could have eaten that!β #noregretsβ
- βHow do I like my eggs? In cake.β
- βI have hunger management issues.β
- βWhen the waiter asked what Iβd like, I handed the menu back and said βyes, please!β
- βIβm just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a cupcake.β
- βWTF (whereβs the food)?β
- βWhy cake? Itβs somebodyβs birthday somewhere!β
- βJet lag is for amateurs.β
- βThis is my road to recovery.β
- βThe only trip you will regret is the one you donβt take. (Okay, and that trip where you ate the sketchy seafood and couldnβt figure out how to flush the toilets in Morocco.)β
- βIf you think adventure is dangerous, try routineβitβs lethal. βPaulo Coelhoβ
- βHave you posed by a naked statue today? No, your garden gnome doesnβt count (he has a hat).β
- βWe broke up for religious reasonsβhe believed he was God and I didnβt.β
- βItβs complicatedβour drink order, that is. The relationship is great!β
- βDoes this ring make me look engaged?β
- βAnother one bites the dust.β
- βHe, me, and baby make three!β
- βI got a haircut! It went so well I went ahead and had all my hairs cut!β
- βI call this the βHey, at least I tried.ββ
- βAt least itβs not a clip-on man bun.β
- βPinterest made me do it.β
- βThe best things in life either make you fat, drunk, or pregnant. I might have accomplished all three.β
- βEveryone say. Cheeeeeeseβ¦.sticks!β
- βWhat tattoo should I get?β
- βWhen people tell me, βYouβre gonna regret that in the morning,β I just sleep until noon. Iβm a problem solver.β
- βDrunk people, children, and leggings: They donβt lie. Neither does this picture.β
- βHow do I get out of this glass prison? Wonβt someone help me? Please?!β
- βNo mom, Iβm not serious. Please donβt call.β
- βHey donβt be sad! Because sad backwards is dasβand das not good!β
- βTil death do us party.
- Itβs been an emotional day. Even the cake is in tiers.
- Not the royal wedding, but itβll do.
- Today, you will get married, and I will eat cake. Itβs a win-win for sure.
- These two make such a gouda couple. Now, point me in the direction of the charcuterie plate.
- Congrats on making it o-fish-ial. Now, there are two less fish in the sea.
- Thank you for sharing your big day with me, and a special thank you to the cake youβre serving.
- The best kind of wedding is one that leaves your bellies (and hearts) full.
- Their love is unbeleafable.
- The party doesnβt start till we walk in.
- These two weirdos are perfect for each other.
- A party without a cake is just a meeting.
- Itβs been an emotional day. Even the cake is in tiers.
- I canβt wait to ugly cry at the next wedding.
- Marriage? It has a nice ring to it.
- Gross. She has to live with a boy now.
- A wedding isnβt about a bride and groom. Itβs about the party.
- Theyβre going to make such a cute old couple.
- THERE ARE 16 YEAR OLDS COMPETING AT THE OLYMPICS AND I STILL PUSH ON PULL DOORSβ¦
- HUMBLE, WITH JUST A HINT OF KANYE.
- Iβd give a fuck but I already gave it to your mother last night when youβre downie eat a brownie.
- Braless is flawless.
- HOW I FEEL WHEN THERE IS NO COFFEE? DEPRESSO.
- THIS IS THE MONDAYEST MONDAY THAT EVER MONDAYED.
- DEJA POO: The feeling that youβve heard this crap before.
- wine + dinner = winners
- I JUST DONβT WANT TO LOOK BACK AND THINK βI COULDβVE EATEN THATβ
- I DONβT EVEN BELIEVE MYSELF WHEN I SAY IβLL BE READY IN 5 MINUTES.
- WiFi, food, my bed. Perfection.
- BORN TO SHOP. FORCED TO WORK.
- First I drink the coffee. Then I do the things.
- Me Everyday: Slay Me in December: Sleigh
- I might look like Iβm doing nothing, but in my head Iβm quite busy.
- Error 404: Feelings not found
- I SPEND A LOT OF TIME HOLDING THE REFRIGERATOR DOOR OPEN LOOKING FOR ANSWERS.
- EVERYTHING I LIKE IS EITHER EXPENSIVE, ILLEGAL OR WONβT TEXT ME BACK.
- JUST WING IT. LIFE, EYELINER, EVERYTHING.
- Long line at Starbucks, first world problems.
- START YOUR DAY WITH POSITIVE THOUGHTS.
- IβM FINE, THANKS FOR NOT ASKING.
- I LOVE SARCASM.
- ITβS LIKE PUNCHING PEOPLE IN THE FACE, BUT WITH WORDS.
- Autocorrect can go straight to hell.
- APPRECIATE GOOD PEOPLE. THEY ARE HARD TO COME BY.
- I WISH COMMON SENSE WAS MORE COMMON
- WE WERE BORN TO BE REAL, NOT TO BE PERFECT.
- Be with those that bring out the best in you, not the stress in you.
- ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING. NEW DAY, NEW STRENGTH, NEW THOUGHTS.
- I am so open-minded, my brains will fall out some day.
- I donβt always surf the internet, but when I do, eyebrows!
- Say βBeer Canβ with a British accent. I just taught you to say βBaconβ with a Jamaican accent.
- In a relationship? Nah! I am in a flirtationship.
- In the event that you donβt have anything decent to say, come sit by me, and we can ridicule individuals together
- I will go into survival mode if tickled
- Mermaids donβt do homework
- Presumably the best meat eater on the planet
- All I need is some Vitamin Sea *insert wave emoji*
- Water you doing right now?
- Keep Palm and Carry On *insert palm tree emoji*
- A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. β James Dent
- Summer: Hair gets lighter. Skin gets darker. Water gets warmer. Drinks get colder. Music gets louder. Nights get longer. Life gets better. β Unknown
- August is like the Sunday of summer. β Unknown
- A man says a lot of things in summer he doesnβt mean in winter. β Patricia Briggs
- Some of the best memories are made in flip flops. β Kellie Elmore
- Summer bachelors like summer breezes, are never as cool as they pretend to be. β Nora Ephron
- Iβm sorry for the things I said when it was winter. β Unknown
- If youβre not barefoot then youβre overdressed. β Unknown
- Girls just wanna have sun. β Unknown
- Summer is here. Iβm in the process of moving all my bad habits outdoors. β Unknown
- Summer should get a speeding ticket. β Unknown
- A little bit of a summer is what the whole year is all about. β John Mayer
- I could never in a hundred summers get tired of this. β Susan Branch
- Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability. β Sam Keen
- When all else fails, take a vacation. β Betty Williams
- A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in. β Robert Orben
- If summer had one defining scent, itβd definitely be the smell of barbecue. β Katie Lee
- To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow. β Audrey Hepburn
- I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
- If a dentist makes their money from unhealthy teeth, why would I trust a product 4/5 of them recommend?
- How did I get back to my crib last night.
- we made it, itβs Friday!
- I read the twilight books.
- When I feel a little down, I put on my favorite high heels and dance.
- Friday, my second favorite F word.
- Women drivers rev my engine.
- I like coodies.
- Hey, I just met you, this is crazy.
- At least this balloon is attracted to me!
- I must destroy you with hugs and kisses.
- Stop looking for happiness in the same place you just lost it.
- I woke up like this.
- Oh youβre a model? Whatβs your agency, Instagram?
- I will eat just one, I swear.
- I liked memes before they were on Instagram.
- if a redhead works at a bakery, does that make him a ginger bread man?
- If we could only turn back timeβ¦
- Keep smiling because life is a beautiful thing and thereβs so much to smile about.
- What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram.
- Thank you for making me feel less alone.
- The only F word out a womanβs mouth that scares me is βfine.β
- Crossfit? I play real sports.
- A blind man walks into a bar⦠And a chair⦠and a table.
- At dawn, we ride.
- you are enough.
- This seat is taken.
- I wasnβt lucky, I deserved it.
- I had fun once, it was horrible.
- survived another βend of the worldβ scenario.
- Girls be likeβ¦
- stop stop, Iβm gunna pee.
- Hey good lookin, can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?
- Puts selfie on top of tree because Iβm the star.
- Is I in trouble?
- I donβt have Exβs, I have Yβs. Like βWhy Did I ever date you?β
- It never rains during the weekend.
- Oh, hi there!
- Youβre doing it wrong.
- Smile π
- Fresher than you.
- A little birthday party they said, itβll be fun they said.
- Donβt be like the rest of them, darling.
- Girls be like, no makeup!
- Posted pic on Instagram, and she didnβt like it.
- I eat my tacos over a Tortilla. That way when stuff falls out, BOOM, another taco.
- We all start as strangers.
- I didnβt choose the thug life, the thug life chose me.
- I think itβs wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
- My only real long term goal is to never end up on Maury.
- girl Ima have to call you back.
- Have a seat, we were expecting you.
- My diet plan: make all of my best friends cookies; the fatter they get, the thinner I look.
- If I die tomorrow, will you remember me
- What if the princess wants to be with Bowser but Mario keeps kidnapping her.
- Invite me to play Candy Crush one more time.
- How do I put this, youβll never sleep again.
- I love sleep because itβs like a time machine to breakfast.
- Teacher knows who my crush is, assigns my seat next to her.
- Iβm the strong silent typo.
- Syndrome of a down.
- Weekend, please donβt leave me.
- Never cry for that person who doesnβt know the value of your tears.
- Donβt play dumb with me. Thatβs a game you canβt win.
- I got back with my Exβ¦Box 360.
- Volleyball is just a really intense version of βdonβt let the ball touch the floorβ.
- Leave your lover.
- Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away.
- I hate flying lessons.
- A selfie a day keeps the friends away.
- OMG thatβs so cute.
- Iβd like to thank Red Bull, Google, Vodka, and Wikipedia for my graduation.
- Buy an iPhone they said, it comes with a map, they said.
- I love you this much.
- One does not simply βLet it goβ
- Boys are like purses, cute, full of crap, and can always be replaced.
- Is Google a boy or a girl? Obviously a girl because it wonβt let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas.
- Can I film you while you sleep? Youβre so cute.
- Hating me doesnβt make you pretty.
- Friends with a gang of geeks.
- Guess what I just did.
- Need an ark? I Noah guy.
- On my way to school π
- Youβre cute, can I have you?
- I donβt always drink beer, but when I do, call me Beercules.
- Friends marathon on Netflix, YES!
- Dear vegetarians, if youβre trying to save animals, then why are you eating their food?
- That moment when you realize it wasnβt a fart.
- Some days start better than others.
- Live the live you want to, not the one youβre supposed to.
- Life is short, false, itβs the longes thing you do.
- Broke his heart, then I asked if he was ok?
- Truth is, Iβm crazy for you. And everyone can see that but you.
- Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.
- Make milkshakes they said, the boys will come to your yard they said.
- Meanwhile at Walmart.
- Changed all my passwords to incorrect, then every time I forget my password, it says βyour password is incorrectβ.
- Darwin award goes toβ¦
- So youβre telling me I have a chance.
- They see me rollin, they hatin.
- Hey girl, I like the way we finish each others, sandwiches.
- A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
- Heart boys who make funny faces when they see you for the first time.
- I know, Iβm lucky that Iβm so cute.
- Oh pizza, you understand me so well.
- My chocolate chip cookie, is rasin π
- Whoβs awesome? You are!
- Impossibru!
- Worldβs most annoying couple.
- Trying to forget it but the memories are too strong.
- Hey girl, feel my sweater. Know what itβs made of? Boyfriend material.
- A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. A dumb person creates it.
- That moment when you realize your childhood is over.
- I came here in peace, seeking gold and slaves.
- Walking past a class with your friends in it.
- So, you come here often?
- You only drink diet soda? You must be so healthy.
- Whoβs that cute person? Oh, I clicked on my profile again.
- Donβt worry if you havenβt found your true love, theyβre just with someone else right now.
- Collect moments, not things.
- Boys be likeβ¦
- This just gave me another reason why I love this person.
- You play Call of Duty? Thatβs cute.
- A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
- He went to jared.
- Your Kik status says Kik Login Online, if youβre online then why arenβt you texting me.
- Help me please, Iβm bored.
- Deal with it.
- Not all girls are made of sugar and spice, and everything nice. Some are made of sarcasm, wine and everything fine.
- You think this is a game?
- I just want to cuddle, thatβs all I want.
- I am an Instagram Caption!
- Best selifie ever.
- You guys are just so darn cute.
- When the bus driver starts driving before you even get to your seat.
- When the parents hate it, the kids lvoe it.
- If you look in the mirror when your eyes are shut, itβs like watching yourself when youβre asleep.
- Being famous on Instagram is like being rich on Monopoly.
- Omg. Look at me. Instagram selfie.
- Being single is smarter than being in the wrong relationship.
- They used to shout my name, now they whisper it.
- Everytime my phone goes off, I hope itβs you.
- I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.
- Frankly my dear, I donβt Instagram.
- Iβm not saying it was aliens, but it was Aliens!
- You lost your phone and itβs on silent? Too bad, if you liked it, you should have put a ring on it.
- Smash, now what will I Instagram?
- Says he wants to whisper something in your ear, screams!
- You go to school, nothing happens. You miss one day, Beyonce shows up unannounced.
- Dude, all my friends have birthdays this year.
- I canβt go on, will you carry me.
- Iβm in love with you, and all your little things.
- Yea, dating is cool but have you every had stuffed crust pizza?
- I act like Iβm ok, but Iβm really not.
- Started from the bottom now weβre here.
- Like a boss.
- I donβt always surf the internet, but when I do, eyebrows.
- You said everyone would be here.
- You keep using that word, I donβt think it means what you think it means.
- Iβm on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it.
- Turn the pain into power.
- Stay strong, the weekend is coming.
- How a woman tells society she is single.
- Work until your idols become your rivals.
- How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat? She fits into your wifeβs clothes
- I thought this was America.
- Instagram is down, just describe your lunch to me.
- Iβll never try to fit in. I was born to STAND OUT.
- I donβt always make sense, but when I do, I donβt.
- You gunna eat that?
- Has one night stand, but way too many books to fit on it.
- Good morning beautiful! I hope I didnβt wake you and Iβm sorry if I did but I just want to tell you that youβre an amazing and beautiful person and I hope you have a great day!
- Hey girl, get back to work.
- You should smell my breath.
- When Instagram was down, I ran around town shouting βlikeβ at flowers, dogs, and expensive brunches.
- So, youβre on Instagram? You must be an amazing photographer.
- Give me the chocolate and nobody gets hurt.
- I used to have superpowers but the psychiatrist took them away.
- The moment when she says youβre cute.
- Lives change like the weather. I hope you remember today is never too late to be brand new.
- I donβt always study, but when I do, I donβt.
- Say βBeer Canβ with a british accent. I just taught you to say βBaconβ with a Jamaican accent.
- Girls be like, caught off guard but still cute.
- Free hot dogs and chili, you always pay for them later.
- Meanwhile in Russia.
- 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- Onions make me sad. A lot of people donβt realize that.
- She just left, I miss her already.
- Cute girl walking in front of you. Decrease speed until walking in front of you.
- Nothing says βrainy dayβ like 50 Shades of Grey!
- Never cry for anyone that doesnβt value your tears.
- Until I saw this, I didnβt know how badly I needed a smile.
- Donβt let anyone tell you that youβre not strong enough. Funny enough. Smart enough.
- I think youβre lacking βVitamin Me.β
- Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, youβll land among the stars.
- Yesterday, I changed my password to βHackItIfYouCan.β Today, someone changed it to βChallengeAccepted.β
- Thereβs a girl out there with love in her eyes and flowers in her hair.
- Still looking for happiness in the same place you just lost it.
- I try not to work too many Sunday. At least, not Sunday nights. I like to call them Sunday Fundays.
- Posting lyrics on your status, hoping at least one person will read them and take the hint.
- Single, taken, in a relationship. These are all just terms. Your status is measured by your actions.
- You donβt have to like me. Iβm not a Facebook status.
- Lives change like the weather. I hope you remember today is never too late to be brand new.
- The biggest challenge in life is being yourselfβ¦in a world trying to make you like everyone else.
- What others think of me is none of my business!
- Get over your selfie, darling!
- My favorite music is your voice. The lyrics always speak right to my heart.
- Life is like a balloon. If you donβt let go, youβll never know how high you can rise.
- βFridayβ is my second-favorite F-word!
- I smile because I have no idea whatβs going on.
- Three mistake did by everyone. Instagram, Facebook, and GF!
- Boys will be boys as long as there are no girls in the picture.
- An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.
- Iβm a smart person, I just do stupid things.
- Alcohol will give different, type of superhuman power!
- Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
- Dear God, there is a bug in your week Software. itβs called Monday, please fix it.
- I put my phone in airplane mode, but itβs not flying!
- A blind man walks into a bar. And a chair. And a table.
- I think you are lacking Vitamin me!
- Iβm jealous of my parents, Iβll never have a kid as cool as theirs.
- Iβll never try to fit in. I was born to STAND OUT.
- Instagram should have an βEnemy Listβ.
- Iβm actually not funny, I am just mean and people think Iβm funny!
- You have to love yourself, first, before anyone else can love you.
- Iβm different, fuck your opinion.
- Aye, Iβm just feeling my vibes right now, Iβm feeling myself.
- Iβm not saying it was aliens, but it was Aliens!
- Remember: everyone else is just as unique as you.
- Iβm not weird, Iβm a limited edition.
- Weβre each responsible for the beauty we carry with us, ever day.
- Iβm usually charming, nice, and well mannered, OK for those who really know me you can laugh now
- If a dentist makes their money from unhealthy teeth, why would I trust a product 4/5 of them recommend?
Guys
Some of the funniest punchlines on Earth is made by men who just throw the nonsense jokes in the air without thinking about it . Take a look at some of menβs funniest remarks and use it for your funny Instagram captions instead.
- If a dentist makes their money from unhealthy teeth, why would I trust a product 4/5 of them recommend?
- I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soul mate. but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza.
- I know the voices in my head arenβt real. But sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!
- I liked memes before they were on Instagram
- I know you are a sensitive person but no worry I am Sensodyne to your sensitivity.
- You know, I like hashtags because they look like waffles.
- I Live And I Learn But I Wait My Turn. Iβm Always On The Run, Got Weight To Burn.
- I look at people sometimes and think. Really?? Thatβs the sperm that won.
- Iβm a math teacher. One plus two equals me and you
- I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
- I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
Lyrical
- Iβm here for a good time not a long time.
- I canβt really see another squad tryna cross us.
- Iβm up right now and you suck right now.
- No new friends.
- Where you movinβ? I said onto better things.
- Know yourself, know your worth.
- Make the most out of tonight, and worry βbout it all tomorrow.
- Iβm way up, I feel blessed.
- I cannot see heaven being much better than this.
- Live for today, plan for tomorrow, party tonight.
- Iβmma sip it βtil i feel it, Iβmma smoke it βtil itβs done.
- I still ride with my day one.
- My excuse is that Iβm young.
- I live for the nights that I canβt remember with the people that I wonβt forget.
- Imma worry βbout me, give a f**k about you.
- Nobody really likes us except for us.
- They ainβt make me what I am, they just found me like this.
- You only live once!
- Drinking every night because we drink to my accomplishments.
- Started from the bottom, now weβre here.
- Last name ever, first name greatest!
- Whole squad on that real sh*t.
- On my worst behavior.
- Worrying about your followers, you need to get yo ur dollars up.
- Started not to give a f**k and stopped fearing the consequence.
- Never not chasing a million things I want.
Romantic
- There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.
- No matter where I went, I always knew my way back to you. You are my compass star.
- Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.
- We accept the love we think we deserve.
- A beautiful woman delights the eye; a wise woman, the understanding; a pure one, the soul.
- Morning without you is a dwindled dawn.
- Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.
- True love stories never have endings.
- We love the things we love for what they are.
- All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.
- Love planted a rose, and the world turned sweet.
- If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything.
- What is love? It is the morning and the evening star.
- Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.
- Love is like the wind, you canβt see it but you can feel it.
- If I had a flower for every time I thought of youβ¦I could walk through my garden forever.
- You know youβre in love when you canβt fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
- Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.
Sarcastic
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
- If had a dollar for every smart thing you say, Iβd be poor.
- I feel so miserable without you, itβs almost like having you here.
- I have two speeds. If you donβt like this one, youβre definitely not going to like the other one.
- I love sarcasm. Itβs like punching people in the face but with words.
- Just because I donβt care doesnβt mean I donβt understand.
- Young people think that money is everything. Old people know that this is correct.
- I canβt come to work today. I have to stare at the ceiling and question every decision Iβve ever made.
- Always remember that youβre unique. Just like everyone else.
- If at first you donβt succeed, maybe skydiving isnβt your sport.
- If you think nobody cares if youβre alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
- Thinking Iβm a moron gives people something to feel smug about. Why should I disillusion them?
- My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.
- I donβt take orders. I barely take suggestions.
- People who act like they know everything are very annoying to those of us who do.
- Iβm not always a smartass. Sometimes Iβm asleep.
Selfie
- God is really creative, I mean just look at me.
- Who cares, Iβm awesome.
- Eat, sleep, click, repeat.
- Iβm different, fuck your opinion.
- Oh, darling! Go buy a personality.
- Remember when you were better than me ?.. Ans: ya neither do I.
- Look dope chic, spice and so nice.
- I`m jealous of my parents, Iβll never have a kid as cool as theirs.
- I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
- Look behind you see any eager faces, waiting for your next post? I thought not.
- I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
- I smile because I have no idea whatβs going on.
- They call it a βselfieβ because βnarcissisticβ is too hard to spell.
- I am not fat, I am just⦠easier to see.
- Born free, taxed to death.
- I am not lazy, I am just on my energy saving mode.
- Friday is my second favorite F word.
- I Live And I Learn But I Wait My Turn. Iβm Always On The Run, Got Weight To Burn.
- There may be no excuse for laziness, but Iβm still looking.
- So we meet again..
- If I ever let my head down, it will be just to admire my shoes.
- Aye Iβm just feeling my vibes right now, Iβm feeling myself.
- Warning β You might fall in love with me.
- I know Iβm lucky that Iβm so cute.
- What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram.
- If being Hot is a Crime ARREST ME!
- Just saw the most smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.
- People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
- If you are going to speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. Iβll tell you more.
- Silence is the best answer of all questions and Smile is the best reaction in all situations. Unfortunately, both never help in VIVA & INTERVIEW.
- I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
- Nothing is illegal until you get caught
- Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean. But the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face.
- If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.
- Iβm not weird, Iβm a limited edition.
- Eat right, stay fit, die anyway.
- On a scale of 1 to 10, Iβm a 15
- Can Bob the Builder fix my bad attitude?
- βMy favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch β¦ I call it lunch.β
- βI walk around like everything is fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.β
- I am not weird. I am limited edition.
- Me? Crazy? I should get down off this unicorn and slap you.
- Life status: currently holding it all together with one bobby pin β¦
- Be as picky with your men as you are with your selfies.
- If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, maybe it really is a duck. Either accept it for what it is or let it go.
- My demons hide in my loudness. So if you donβt want the evil to come out, donβt shut me down in a very sarcastic manner.
- You know that feeling when the really cute girl walks by in the mall, and you smile, try to be smooth, and take a drink of tea, and run the straw up your nose?
- Who washed and waxed their truck in this lovely 32-degree weather? Yes, thatβs right! Me!
- You cannot control whom your heart falls in love with, but itβs funny because you can decide whom to date.
- Do I really look like a guy who spent the past hour trying to get the right lighting for this selfie? Of course not!
- I hate captions that donβt belong to my selfie.
- For every action, I have a clever reserve caption.
- Why you donβt consider my clever attitude in my serious photos.
- You are a serious rock star, but you need much more efforts to start my rock.
- If you ever ignore my attitude, I will not pick up your luggage again.
- Girls like my smiley face because I clean my teeth thrice a day.
- Dogs and cats are not allowed in my private pictures.
- I love Instagram because it allows me to maintain a record of my every meal.
- You can tell how much someone likes you by the number of times they show up in your selfies.
- Eat right, stay fit, and die anyway.
- Eat, sleep, click, and repeat.
- ETC meaning βEnd of Thinking Capacityβ.
- Every tall girl needs a short best friend.
- Finding friends with the same mental disorder is priceless.
- For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.
- Forget love, Iβd rather fall in chocolate.
- Friends buy you lunch. Best friends eat your lunch.
- Friends knock on the door; best friends walk into your house and start eating.
- Give me the chocolate and nobody gets hurt.
Words of Wisdom
- βI want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot. Sleep for a while. Wake up beautiful.β
- βAn apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough.β
- βI tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life!β
- Never let a man treat you anything less than Beyonce.
- Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
Summary: Cool Instagram Quotes
You are still here?
By now we hope you have found one of your funny Instagram captions to put under your photo.Thereβs so many quotes in the world. We try to keep this article up to date, adding always more and more quotations we find.
Here you find even more detailed collections:
- cool Instagram captions
- true friendship quotes
- funny quotes about friends
- captions for couples about love
Happy Instagramming!
The Instagram Circus
Want even more Inspiration? π₯
π 1001 of the Best Humourous Quotes
π€³ Instagram For Business For Dummies
π 200 Inspirational Stickers
π Ideal Gift: Motivational Quotes for Every Day - in a Jar!
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