Social media is becoming more and more popular in these digital days. People are more often seen carrying a smartphone in their hands, taking photos, and posting them on their social media accounts. We know you’re one of us itching to update your Facebook status at the moment.

We want to update ours too!

You’ve come to the perfect place. We are compiling Facebook statuses in various categories. Read and scroll for status that you can use for your next update. This is an easy copy and pastes compilation so use the quotes to your heart’s desire!

Also see: Instagram Captions for true friends

Facebook Status in English

Find the best status and quotes for your Facebook profile here. We have compiled funny quotes, short quotes, attitude quotes, and more.

Funny Facebook status about me

Describe yourself in the most awesome way possible with these lines. Check out these cool and unique Facebook status and about me that your friends will love and smile.

We’ve compiled these funny Facebook statuses that you can try and put on your bio. Make sure that the phrases define who you are. Insert a bit of humor to your about me profile.

  • I’m too lazy to stop being lazy.
  • Never give up on your dreams keep sleeping.
  • I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work.
  • Hey you, yeah I’m talking to you, why the hell are you reading my “Facebook Bio” and checking my old photos?
  • I’m not special. I’m a limited edition.
  • My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
  • You’re so lucky that I’m terrified of prison.
  • Someday you’ll go far, and I hope you stay there.
  • Never trust a dog to watch your food.
  • Did you hear that joke that doesn’t offend anyone? Neither did I.
  • The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
  • I really want to work so hard. But being lazy is so much fun.
  • Shopping is an art. I am an artist. Respect Please.
  • In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision-maker.
  • I’m not single. I’m not taken. I’m simply on reserve for the one who deserves my heart.
  • I know I am awesome, so I don’t care about your opinion.
  • I’ve finally realized something: What other people think and say about me is none of my business.
  • My signature, My style, My identity.
  • I’m so tired, my tired is tired.
  • I’m at the point now where I don’t want to impress anyone anymore. If people like me the way I am, great. If they don’t, well it’s their loss.
  • I may be wrong. But I doubt it
  • Make your weird light shine bright, so the other weirdos know where to find you.
  • I’m the black one if you haven’t picked up on that yet.
  • Born to express not to impress.
  • I may be fat, but you’re ugly. And I can lose weight!
  • You don’t like my attitude? That’s fine. It doesn’t like you either.
  • I am who I am, your approval is not needed.
  • I would call my fashion style “clothes that still fit.”
  • I stopped fighting with my inner demons. We are on the same side now.
  • Life taught me a lot of lessons but I banked those classes.
  • I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.
  • “Employee of the Month” is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
  • I really don’t care what you think about me. Unless you think I’m awesome. In that case – you’re totally right. Carry on!
  • Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
  • I love my Haters, they make me Famous.
  • I am a slow walker, but I never walk back.
  • I want someone to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
  • Dyslexics are people poo.
  • I’m really not cranky. I just have a violent reaction when I meet stupid people.
  • I don’t have an attitude problem. I have an attitude. The problem is yours.
  • Not always ‘Available’… Try your Luck.
  • Silent people have the loudest minds.
  • No, I’m not feeling violent, I’m feeling creative with weapons.
  • Different from everyone!
  • Be yourself, who else is better qualified?
  • I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
  • Me? Mature? I still laugh when the ketchup bottle “FARTS”.
  • I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
  • My drug test came back negative. My dealer sure has some explaining to do.
  • I have feelings too. I am still human.
  • I do what I must, and my friends will adjust!
  • You can either take me as I am or watch me as I leave.
  • I don’t have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.
  • I am multi-talented, I can talk and piss you off at the same time.
  • I don’t believe in miracles. I rely on them.

 

Short Status for Facebook

Remember Kiss? Keep it short and simple. Make an impact on your Facebook status with short statuses. Sometimes, it’s not the length that counts, it’s the message and meaning behind every word.

Look out for your next favorite status!

  • I’m on a whiskey diet- I’ve lost three days already.
  • Make your weird light shine bright, so the other weirdos know where to find you.
  • Be smarter than your smartphone.
  • Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
  • It’s not that I don’t want to go to work. I’m just allergic to crushing defeat.
  • My girlfriend keeps stealing my sweatshirts, and I keep replacing them. We now have 450 sweatshirts, and they’re all in her closet.
  • Of course, I talk to myself! Sometimes I need expert advice.
  • I would request a last meal of soda and pop rocks so I could die on my own terms.
  • Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when I do criticize him, I’m a mile away and I have his shoes.
  • Did you know that dolphins are so smart that they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
  • I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
  • I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.
  • I am what I am… I will never try to be someone else.
  • Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  • Fair warning: I know karate. …and some other words.
  • My job is secure. No one else wants it.
  • The good news is I’m smiling. The bad news is it’s the kind of smile that people should fear.
  • If you dislike me, remember it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind and you don’t matter!

 

Facebook status love

Love statuses for Facebook are sought after that’s why we compiled tons of love quotes to shower your Facebook profile. Love is one of the most overly used topics in the world. Sometimes it gets difficult to say the right words at the right time. It’s hard to express your feelings.

If you’re feeling like that at the moment, you’ve come to the right web page – here is some Facebook status about love that you can use. Send them to your loved ones, to your friends, to everyone!

  • A silent hug means a thousand words to the unhappy heart.
  • A.B.C.D.E.F.G.H.I.J.K.L.M.N.O.P.Q.R.S.T.V.W.X.Y.Z. Did I miss anything? Oh, yes, I miss You.
  • All I need is your love.
  • Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.
  • Love is like a rubber band held at both ends by two people, when one leaves it hurts the other.
  • If you like these quotes then don’t forget to share these quotes with your friends on your social profiles.
  • Falling in love is only half of what I want, staying in love with you for till forever is the other.
  • Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart.
  • Did you know I love the second word of this question?
  • Don’t find true love, and it will find you itself.
  • Go for someone who is not only proud to have you but will also take every risk just to be with you.
  • Why am I so afraid to lose you when you’re not even mine?
  • Love is not about how much you say “I love you” but how much you can prove that it’s true.
  • If you expect something in return, It’s called business, not love.
  • Distance means so little when someone means so much.
  • You may be someone to the world but you are the world for someone.
  • I didn’t choose you, My heart did.
  • I don’t need a burning sun and a cooling moon to show me my way. Just want you to hold me whenever I tumble.
  • You know you’re in love when you see the world in her eyes and her eyes everywhere in the world.
  • The minute you think of giving up think of the reason why you held on so long.
  • When someone else happiness is your happiness, it’s called true love.
  • When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner.
  • Place your time and energy on someone who will add sunshine to your life. Life is too short to waste on the wrong one.
  • Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
  • If your heart was a prison, I would like to be sentenced to life.
  • We fall in love by chance but we stay in love by choice.
  • Being someone’s first love may be great, but to be their last is beyond perfect.
  • I don’t know if I like you or love you, want you or need you, all I know is I love the feeling I get when I’m near you.
  • True love is when she talks non-stop and you are still interested in listening to her.
  • In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.
  • I will walk with you forever.
  • The heart that loves, stays always young.
  • When I look into your eyes I tend to lose thoughts.
  • True love never dies. It’s only getting stronger with time.
  • Only you can decide what are going to think, and how you are going to think about it.
  • 99% of the time, we forgive people because we still want them in our lives.
  • Missing someone isn’t about how long it has been since you’ve seen them or the amount of time since you’ve talked. It’s about that very moment when you’re doing something and wishing they were right here with you.
  • Real boyfriend sees no other females Because his eyes are only dedicated to his girl
  • Love her like you’re the worst. Make love to her like you’re the best.

 

Short Status for Facebook on attitude

Needing some attitude and sass in your Facebook status? Worry no more! We have a list here for you. We’ve compiled some of the burning attitude phrases and quotes for your Facebook profiles.

Give them a taste of your other side with these attitude stats!

  • My attitude is based on how you treat me.
  • And now, I’ll do what’s do for me.
  • I’m so cool I wasn’t actually born, I was defrosted.
  • I’m so naturally funny because my life is like a joke.
  • I don’t have bad handwriting, I have my own FONT.
  • So, you’re checking my status.
  • My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
  • I love you even when I hate you.
  • Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness.
  • I can’t stop missing you.
  • She is chaos and beauty intertwined. A tornado of roses from the divine.
  • Don’t judge me by my past, I don’t live there anymore.
  • We cannot change anything unless we accept it.
  • You have to be ODD to be number ONE.
  • I’m not perfect. I’m original.
  • Love isn’t complicated, people are.
  • Don’t judge someone’s attitude until you’ve felt their pain.
  • I don’t even know why I like you. But I just do.
  • Love in Life, Make life beautiful.
  • I’m not anti-fashion, but I’ve always had a bit of a punk attitude. That’s important, I think. I do my own thing.
  • Can I borrow a Kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.
  • If you love something, set it free.
  • Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.
  • From time to time, I dream about not knowing you because I cannot sleep at night, thinking about you!
  • Love is a real drug, that’s why you’re my dealer!
  • It’s easy t say, “I love you.” But it`s hard to wait and prove your words.
  • Love is a beautiful mistake of my life.
  • I will not tell you different stories about love. Not because I don’t love you. It’s because I am going to make my own love story with you!
  • Love cannot be in doubt. When you find true love, you know it for sure. If you are not satisfied, it`s not real love.
  • I’ve fallen in love many times. But always with you.
  • If a hug tells you how much I love you, I will hold you in my arms forever.
  • A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results.
  • Haters hate because I got what they ain’t.
  • My night has become a sunny dawn because of you.
  • This is going to sound crazy, but…from the moment I first set eyes on you I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.
  • I need you so much closer.
  • Love is when you look into someone’s eye and see everything you ever need.
  • Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life. Because you become what you believe.
  • Keep your face towards the sunshine, you will never see the shadow.
  • A lion never loses sleep over the opinions of a sheep.
  • I don’t need to explain myself because I know I’m right.
  • I tried being like you, my personality didn’t like it.
  • People think that you fall in love only once. It’s not about me. I fall in love every time I see you.
  • People may hear your words but they feel your attitude.
  • Love when you’re ready, not when you are alone.
  • Love is cute when it’s new, but love is most beautiful when it last.
  • Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks the head, the heart, and the senses simultaneously.
  • Inhale confidence.  Exhale doubt.
  • Excuse me, I found something under my shoes. Oh, it’s your attitude.
  • Missing someone is an excellent way to stimulate your heart to be patient and open to love.
  • Learn to listen. Opportunity sometimes knocks very softly.
  • Silence is the best answer to a fool.
  • Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
  • Appreciate the journey.

 

Short status quotes

Spice up your status and posts on Facebook with these funny, awesome, and short status quotes. Don’t let your Facebook status dry up with boring one-liners, use these quotes to your hearts’ content!

Copy and paste to your Fb and see how your friends will react!

  • Beer is what makes you see double and feel single.
  • Happiness is not in money but in shopping.
  • The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude.
  • That awkward moment when you’re wearing Nike’s and you can’t do it.
  • Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal.
  • Yes, I do bad things, but I do them well.
  • If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot.
  • Keep calm and enjoy life.
  • Only batteries have pluses and minuses. And I’m ideal.
  • Being original is difficult…you can’t be like me. There is only one master copy and the rest all is a photocopy.
  • I like having conversations with kids. Grownups never ask me what my third favorite reptile is.
  • No one is always busy. It just depends on what number you are on their priority list.
  • Don’t kiss me near your house. Love is blind but the neighbors are not.
  • Life is short, and it is here to be lived.
  • It costs $0.00 to be a decent person.
  • A joy shared is a joy doubled.
  • Life is always rocky when you’re a gem.
  • There are no mistakes in life, only lessons.
  • Hakuna Matata!!–the great motto to live life!!
  • Stop checking my last seen. Chat me when you miss me.
  • If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
  • Life sucks when you’re all alone.
  • The first five days after the weekend are the hardest.
  • To a smart girl, men are no problem – they’re the answer.
  • A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
  • Do more of what makes you happy.
  • I do not believe in using women in combat, because females are too fierce.
  • Comparison is the thief of joy.
  • Treat yourself like a King and you’ll attract your Queen.
  • God is really creative, I mean… just look at me.
  • Don’t like my attitude? Report me at who-cares-dot-com.

 

Summary

We have a compilation of quotes for all occasions just for you. You can check out our entries such as funny quotes for friends, the best Instagram captions, and many more.

Flavor up your Facebook profile with these awesome quotes. Only pick from the best. Don’t forget to save this webpage and get back to it when you need to update your messages. It is always good to have inspiration.

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